Ya know what? This is my blog, so I’m gonna say it. If you’re just here for the sewing, please move on to the next post. Seriously. I’d hate to lose you as a reader.
I go to great pains to park my car as close to perfect as possible. Every. Single. Time. I also bust my rear day in and day out to make a fairly large (for me at least) payment on my car that is still “new” to me, even if I bought it a year and a half ago.
If you or your child opens your car door into my still “new” to me car (which is very small and never poorly parked and in no way infringes on your ability to get into your probably poorly parked gas guzzler of a completely unnecessary hugeness) and leave a scratch, or a bit of paint, or worst of all an actual DENT and don’t leave a note, that makes YOU a grade A 100% tried and true ASSHAT.
OF THE HIGHEST ORDER.
FOUR TIMES. FOUR TIMES IN THE PAST YEAR THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME. MY BRAND NEW CAR! And now I am going to take my still new to me car to a body shop and pay to get every single one of those dings fixed.
So you? You asshat that didn’t bother to AT LEAST apologize anonymously? Yeah, you in the giant SUV parked at JoAnn’s in North Olmsted, Ohio. Your brat that has no respect for others or any self-awareness just cost me $300. And you, that guy that drives a junker and just didn’t give a rat’s ass because your car’s a piece of junk, parked outside my office, YOU SUCK. You just cost me $200.
Most importantly, to the people who thought it would be totally fine to shave 6 inches off each parking space outside my office in order to cram in ONE MORE SPOT and therefore charge ONE MORE POOR SCHMUCK $87/month to park in your lot that is full of potholes and never gets plowed with the spaces too small and construction workers taking up half the spaces on any given day, to you, I say – SUCK. IT. DOUBLE SUCK IT. GO SUCK A DUCK. I HATE YOU.
(Side note: I just had a thought. I wonder if people do it on purpose because I have a Grumpy Cat sticker that says I hate your stick figure family on the back window. I’m betting yes. Also, I really do. It’s completely stupid.)
PEOPLE. JUST LEAVE A NOTE AND LET YOUR INSURANCE COVER IT. IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.(This note is brought to you by the college student who ran into my parked car’s bumper in the parking lot at work and actually took complete responsibility and left a note and insurance information. I hate that you hit my car but I love you for being honest and upstanding. I love our insurance companies even more for working it out with the minimal amount of stress. So far anyway.)
I feel a little better now. If you actually made it all the way through this post, I applaud you. You probably have the door-ding rage too, don’t you? Makes your blood boil just thinking about all those little unnecessary scrapes and dents, doesn’t it? Yup. I’m with you buddy.